In Your Arms
by whatadayforadaydreamxoxo
Summary: AU. Every time she cried, it was Harry that put her back together and it was him who never let her fall apart. But it was never easy falling in love with someone else when you belonged to another.
1. Chapter 1

Broken beyond repair, a heart that sank so low not even the great towers of books in the Library of Hogwarts' third floor could tug a smile on Hermione Granger's lips. It felt as if it was a constant battle with Ron, fighting about this and that, words that were not of love spewing across their flat in London. From why Ron never took her seriously or why Hermione was too uptight with everything, the couple of 2 years was a time bomb ready to detonate. Who stood in the middle, however, was none other than Harry, their visually impaired, green eyed friend. Luna, Neville, Seamus, and Dean had themselves filled to the brim with the weekly spats of Hermione and Ron, until they decided that it was no use trying to reconcile a couple that was no longer in love. Harry, however, was the only one who never gave up when the rest of the world did.

"I'm telling you mate, she's gone mad, literally mad. Hermione's always going on about never taking her seriously and how I'm not the same person she fell in love with." Exasperated, Ron took a seat with his best friend at a local coffee shop.  
"Well, are you actually taking her seriously? Because last week when the both of you argued about Lavender visiting London, you just shrugged her off." Playing best friend in the middle was always such a challenge, even for the Boy Who Lived.  
"Harry, are you honestly taking her side again? She's been a nightmare these past couple of weeks. Always too jealous, too needy, too... way too Hermione. If you've lived with her, I'm sure you would understand." Ron ran his hands through his hair as his freckle kissed face settled down on the table. It was easier 2 years ago, but now it was near impossible.  
"I'm not taking anyone's side. I'm just saying that maybe you could try understanding each other better for once. Lavender is visiting London for you, and you know that. Hermione just didn't want you getting too close for comfort with her just like Lavender's last visit." How Harry wished his best friend wasn't so oblivious to the obvious. He saw the pain in Hermione's face when Ron's eyes wandered on other women, or how her shoulders sank when she needed a shoulder to cry on and Ron couldn't be bothered.  
"There it is again, you taking her side like she's the victim. Whatever, I'll just forget about this for the afternoon. It's not worth the effort, Harry. Let's just enjoy this evening like old times." Taking a bite of his biscuit, Ron brushed away the memories of the lover's spat he had with Hermione.  
"Maybe if I talk to her, it could ease the tension a bit. Maybe make her see that there's nothing she should be mad about." Harry would be lying if he said he didn't have any ulterior motives, but he missed Hermione. With the intensive Auror training and the work piled on Hermione in the Ministry, the only time he ever saw her was when tears had pooled her eyes and her head fell to her hands.  
"You could try, but I reckon she'd just give you a migraine Harry." Ron admired his friend for over 10 years because if it was one thing Harry never did, it was to give up on someone. Even in when he was being a git, it was Harry that always stood by his side.

He was supposed to be the best friend, the one that never took sides or betrayed the other for his personal gain. Harry tried hard to push everything away, he really did but how could he when he had fallen in love with her. How could he not admire her when her brown hair fell to her shoulders and a smile, which he loved so much, widened across her unblemished face? She mesmerized Harry, even when tears cascaded down her eyes and cheeks flushed pink, he could only see her as beautiful. It was as if each passing day she had grown more in beauty, and Harry grown more in love. He never thought of her voice as annoying, nor her adoration for books weird as Ron would perceive it to be. The sacrifices she had made for him during the battle of Hogwarts, not to mention risking her own life for his safety was something Harry could never return. But that was what made her so important to him; they would risk their lives for the other no matter the circumstance. He would look back to the moment where he realized that his love was more than platonic. She was petrified by the reflection of the Basilisk in their second year, looking down upon her statue-like body knowing that he wouldn't be able to see her the next day brought Harry fear. It was a different form of fear, the type that would cause him to break if she was to leave his life. But what he felt could never be discovered, not by Ron, not by her, not by anyone. The attempts of pushing the love he held never succeeded, Cho and Ginny never made him as happy what she could make him feel in a day. Harry was supposed to love her as a sister, and to leave Ron as the man she would call hers. It was betrayal, what he felt for her went against what everyone thought Harry was. He knew that she could never reciprocate his love, but those moments where she would bury her head into his shoulder in sadness for something idiotic Ron had said gave Harry hope. Hope that one day she could see that it was him that waited so long to make her the happiest woman in the world. It was him that she would wake up next to because she was the last face he wanted to see before he slept and the first thing after he woke up. It was Harry that would give Hermione everything because he fell in love with her.


	2. Chapter 2

Copper leaves set upon the paths of Regent's Park, as overcast descended the London sky. The summer heat now gone, autumn had brought its breezes and gloom to the city. Amidst the marble fountains and neatly trimmed hedges were two young women feeding the birds that had waddled about. The freckle faced, red haired Ginny and her sulking friend, Hermione sat on the oak bench facing the bushels of flowers. Head low; complete with a frown tugged at her lips, Ginny sensed that it wasn't only the city of London that was in gloom today. It wasn't rare to see Hermione in sadness, nor seeing her brother in frustration. The commonality of it all was the painful part, but what she couldn't understand was, why didn't they just stop trying? It was never easy of course, to leave it all behind when Ron was her first love and Hermione was his, but in Ginny's eyes, it's as if the meaning of love in their relationship had lost its depth. Ron no longer looked at her the way he did 2 years ago, and Hermione's heart hasn't swelled for him in God knows how long. But that's what Harry and Ginny were there for, when the world crumbled around their friends, they would bare their pain and hold what was left of Ron and Hermione. It was better to fight for the remnants of what they had, than rather abandoning it all together.

"He says I'm too uptight, too clingy, too … me. Sometime's I don't even know what that means, like he wants me to be someone else." Hermione would recall the days that Ron would whisper "I love you's" in her ear, a memory that hurt to remember because it was as if what he felt for her was never true.

"Ron just gets caught up in the madness of it all. When he's too angry, too frustrated, he says whatever he wants. But I don't think he means it. Anger consumes the best of us, Hermione. Even when you're angry, you've broken glasses and doors." Ginny laughed at her friend's antics, an infuriated Hermione was someone to be feared.

"Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it anymore. I feel as if Ron's not even trying anymore, that he's just letting this muddle around until you and Harry push us back together." Even when their spats were outright ridiculous or border line insanity, it was Ginny and her raven-haired best friend of almost 12 years that pieced each broken part of Hermione's relationship with Ron. But what she was unsure of was if her heart was with the right person.

"Do you still love him? Do you know if he still loves you?" In her mind, Ginny already knew the answer; she was just waiting if Hermione knew it as well.

"Yes … No … Maybe … I don't know. I just don't know." Hermione stammered at her reply, her mind was having this internal battle of what her heart truly desired.

"I think you do know, but you're just not ready and that's alright. But just remember that you don't have to want to love him. Maybe you can talk to Harry later, he's always willing to listen, especially if it's you." Ginny Weasley wasn't stupid, but she was sure that Harry was. She could see how the green-eyed friend of hers looked at Hermione, as if she was the only girl in the room. That was how Ron was supposed to look at her, but it was Harry that saw her with love.

"He always does listen, even when I'm crying, screaming or just being utterly stupid. Harry never asks for me to change, he just lets me be myself. When Ron and I are at each other's throats, he's there, with me every step of the way. It could be 8 at night or 3 in the morning and I'm sobbing like an idiot, Harry would still be the one trying the best way to make me laugh." She stopped herself before she could go any further. Hermione was rambling about her best friend, when it was supposed to be Ron that would make her feel such happiness. But when she thought of the joys in her life, it was Harry that had been through it all with Hermione.

"You look happy, really happy." If there was one thing that could lift the eyes of Hermione, it was Harry. It was almost frustrating for Ginny to see her friends so blind, the world could see how they were made for each other, but they could not.

"Why are you looking at me like that? You've got that grin again, Ginny." Hermione's ramble crept a faint blush against her cheeks. She couldn't help but look back to the moments where she felt content, because there never was a day with Harry that she never felt safe.

"Looking at you like what? Hermione, I'm not looking at you like anything. It's just that even when you swooned over Viktor Krum, you've just never talked about anyone like that. Harry was always the one there for you, wasn't he?" He never abandoned her side, even when Ginny and Cho had dated Harry; Hermione came first because that was how it had always been.

"He always has, I just hope he never leaves." If Harry ever did leave, she'd be lost, completely. It wasn't that Hermione's life solely depended on him, but to imagine no longer having someone that gave her so much joy was too great of a burden to bear.

"Hermione, do you love Harry? Do you think you could ever be in love with him?" Maybe a small push would give Hermione something to think about. Her friend might not be perfect for her brother, but Ginny wanted to bring together the people who were perfect for each other.

"Oh Ginny, that's absurd! I love Harry, but as a brother of course. I don't love him, no, not ever." Hermione tried her best to bury whatever suspicion Ginny had of her feelings for Harry. To deny that she could never love him was painful to say as she swallowed down the lie in her throat.

"Are you sure that you don't? Or you **can't?**" Ginny couldn't stand seeing Hermione lie to herself for the billionth time. But she wouldn't interfere, she couldn't as Ron was her brother and Harry and Hermione were her friends. If she even let anything slip, it could take a turn for the worse. But denial only made the heart grow fonder.

"I **don't** love him Ginny. Its purely platonic, I don't know where you even got such an idea. Harry is a friend, a best friend, nothing more, and nothing less. I'm sure that he thinks of me the same way." But what if she didn't want to settle for nothing more? Hermione didn't want Harry to think of her as just platonic either, but maybe it was something she had to accept. How could he love her? She was this annoying, know-it-all that stuck her nose deep in a book. Hermione had a habit of nagging and over reacting, which Ron had pointed out several times.

"It was just an idea, but if you **honestly **say you're friendship with Harry is platonic, then I guess pigs can fly. Talk to Harry tonight or tomorrow, maybe he's turned Ron into an actual gentleman. It'll give you time to sort things out." _For fuck's sake Hermione, you're supposed to be the brightest witch of your age. Stop wallowing in stupidity_.

"I really must get going Hermione, I'll see you later?" _The next time I see you, you better have this all sorted or I'm hexing you. _Suppressing her thoughts, Ginny waved a "bye" to her friend and left Hermione sitting still in the vastness of Regent's Park.

Ginny's words had replayed in Hermione's mind constantly. "You don't? Or you cant?" never seemed to leave her ears, it was this incessant ringing that she wanted to avoid. But Hermione knew that she couldn't, even if she already fell in love, so deeply in love, her wishes could never become reality. The friendship of the Golden Trio would be severed if she ever confessed what she truly felt. Her friendship with Harry would be non-existent, as Hermione knew the feeling was not mutual. It was Third Year when she looked to Harry as more than a best friend. Turning back the clock to save Buckbeak and Sirius, and fighting off countless dementors. Hermione knew that in Harry's arms she could find safety, comfort the way no one else could give her. He had endured so much for her, remaining by her side when there were many that wanted to kill him. As each year during their time at Hogwarts passed, Hermione grew in fear for Harry as the darkness crept along the walls of the school. But as he would continuously put himself in danger for her safety and for the others, it wasn't difficult for Hermione to do the same. What became so challenging was to stand back and see Harry love someone else. For a time, she was jealous of Cho and even more so when he had dated Ginny. Envy seethed through her like a plague, because Hermione believed that she wasn't as beautiful or athletic as the girls Harry took interest in. She felt plain, even with the wit and mind like hers, Hermione felt ordinary. But even in all her normality, when Harry would come by for their late night chats and do some of the silliest things for her, she didn't feel so plain. For that moment in time, Hermione believed that she was special because no one, not even her own boyfriend would go out of their way to wipe the tears from her eyes. Hermione wanted to love Ron, but she knew that what she felt wasn't true. When she looked to Harry, she loved him, not because she wanted or needed to, it was because she couldn't help it.


	3. Chapter 3

The first rays of sun had grasped the skyline as hues of pink and orange splayed upon the horizon. It was another morning, the aroma of coffee and toast stirred in the flat owned by Hermione and Ron. The most recent lovers spat had Ron sleeping on the couch as his girlfriend took the main bedroom. Maybe Harry was right; maybe if they tried to understand each other things would come easier. However, it was an effort he was second guessing, as Ron questioned if he still loved the same Hermione years ago. Could they still mend what was left of their relationship? They were too different now; their only commonality was to yell at each other for the flaws they saw but never took the time to correct it, as both were stubborn. Holding such high opinions about their beliefs, some would say that their relationship was based upon competition of superiority. It wasn't founded on love, but more of what they wanted to change about the other. Ron never imagined for such a turn of events, as he was lovesick for Hermione for most of his life, jealous at every guy that took an interest in her. His envy was greatest when it concerned Harry, but it wasn't because he was the chosen one. His best friend, the great Harry Potter in all his fame had a heart that loved like no other, the hero of the day as he would be the one to wipe the tears Hermione had shed. It was fear of losing Hermione to someone that seemed so much better than him, but now… the spark was gone, replaced by the spews of hatred that came out of their mouths as they fought over the most absurd things. Why they were still together, Ron knew the reason but it was for selfishness he could never disclose. He wasn't the only one that fell in love with Hermione, as many men have, so too did Harry. Even a blind man could see that the love Harry had for his girlfriend was more than platonic, as he noticed how Harry would look at her. Harry saw Hermione with love in his eyes, a familiar gleam as Ron used to give her the same look as well. When his best friend had dated Cho Chang and his own sister, not once did Harry look at either girl as if they were the only one left in the world. Ron's desires were not always of greed for love, but when it came to Hermione it became difficult to be selfless. Harry had always succeeded where Ron had failed, but to be surpassed by his best friend in love, proved to be the challenge he had to overcome. As the memories flooded back, Ron knew in his heart that Hermione was his first love but as the feelings faded into resentment, he selfishly kept her for his own gain. It was wrong to do such a thing for envious desires, but maybe he could learn to love again, Ron would just have to want it as badly as he needed her two years ago.

Streams of morning sunlight poured from the bedroom window, illuminating the moving pictures of memories during Harry, Ron and Hermione's years at Hogwarts. The frames were hung on the walls and photographs, covering the corkboard Hermione had kept next to the desk. She would be lying if she said she didn't glance at the photographs often for that's all Hermione had been doing, it seemed. Their smiles, laughs, those were the days where their only concern was who had to eat the vomit flavored Bertie Bott's Bean. Then the war came, pictures had become scarce, as there were less and less people to share what happy memories with. Hermione found herself staring at the photographs where her and Harry were only present. Colin Creevey's pictures of their 14-year-old selves in the Library, a grin plastered on his face even though Hermione had forced him to study and her first ride on a broom with Harry's laughing smile as she was never really a keen flyer. Sometimes her eyes would wander at the pictures taken during the dates she had with Ron. The photographs of sharing an ice cream with her boyfriend as a big cherry sat atop his nose and holding hands while visiting Hogsmeade brought her back to the moments like those where it wasn't always about fighting. Hermione loved Ron, she truly did but it wasn't the form of love that she was tongue-tied trying to explain. It didn't feel like the sort where her heart swooned, even if she wanted to feel that way she couldn't. She knew she wasn't being fair, as Hermione knew that Ron had been in love with her for years but kept her heart reserved for another. It wasn't that she had lied about loving Ron because she did, it just wasn't the love Hermione felt for Harry. Seeing the one she fell for with Cho then with Ginny just gave her the feeling that he could never love Hermione, the bookworm. So she sought to bring her heart to the one that did love her. It was wrong of Hermione, really, to stay with Ron because she wasn't who Harry had chosen but the void of incompleteness had set upon her.

Faint whistling of a boiling kettle of water sounded throughout the small, yet cozy flat. Hermione made her usual morning cup of tea, although she could have used magic being a muggle born did bring about muggle ways of living. This of course, while Hermione did not think it was such a bother, Ron however did. Bred from a pureblood magical family, magic seemed to be the easiest to do a certain task. Character was always a question between the two, as they kept a competition that constantly battled for who was right and who was not.

"Good morning." Unbeknownst to his girlfriend, Ron had already been awake. The thoughts of their relationship left a mental unrest, a struggle to keep fighting or to just let life run its course. It was time to apologize, no matter how much Harry didn't see that Hermione was a "nightmare", he was always right.

"Morning, sleep well?" Hermione had her back turned to her boyfriend, pretending to be so interested in pouring her daily tea. She didn't say her words with malice, but she didn't say it with love either.

"No, I haven't done much of sleeping lately. But, have you… um… been sleeping well?" Calm and casual, that's how Ron wanted to keep it. He had said what had seemed to be almost a million apologies during the two years, in his eyes, Ron saw "sorry" as a chore. But he couldn't think that way anymore, it was quite unfair. _I want to try again this time, maybe it'll turn out better. _

"No, neither have I. Just been laying awake, waiting for the sun to come up." It was true; Hermione's words revealed that she never really slept. Nightmare or dream, she couldn't find peace during the evenings. It was either a vision of Harry dying at the hands of Voldemort or just another reflection of arguments with Ron.

"Hermione, I just wanted to say… I'm … I'm sorry for what I said two days ago, about you being so…you. I was frustrated and I didn't mean it to come out that way." Ron wasn't always the first to apologize, but taking initiative for his actions seemed like the best way to go for now. He was sincere though, Ron was very sorry… but he didn't quite know how long peace would last. It could take anywhere from an hour, to a day, a week or maybe a month.

"Ron… I … look I'm sorry too, for the things I said, for the things I did. I just want to put it all behind us, start anew." Hermione set her tea aside and took a step towards her red-haired freckle faced boyfriend. It couldn't hurt to try one more time, but how much could either of them really endure? It felt as if they didn't understand each other, always putting their times of strife before selflessness.

Looking down upon her, Ron studied Hermione's face for a few moments. Every detail of her visage, even in such beauty time had passed to reveal a boyfriend that had yelled resentment at his girlfriend. Her brown hair gently falling past her shoulders and her eyes smoldering brown. Hermione is a girl that Ron was supposed to have unconditional love for, never ceasing with age. Yet why didn't he feel the same yearning in his heart?

Hermione's eyes ascended to meet her boyfriend blue ones. She was staring at the face of someone she spat words of hate towards when anger erupted from her mouth. It was no longer an exchange of "I love you's" and "You make me happy", it hadn't been that way for quite a while. So long ago that it had only become a faint memory.

It had been a few weeks since any romantic interaction between the two. Their arguments built this barrier of not talking to each other for days, only making eye contact then quickly looking away in annoyance.

Ron leaned down and his lips descended to Hermione's pink ones. The kiss wasn't brief, but it wasn't long either. The lips of the freckle-faced boy were gently placed upon Hermione's, his arms wrapping around her small waist. Hermione reciprocated her boyfriend's attempts of closing in the space between them by snaking her own arms on Ron's neck.

However, the effort to make the kiss passionate, filled with love as it had been before was unsuccessful with Hermione. There was no spark, no fireworks, and her knees did not feel weak. The feeling was gone, for she felt like she was kissing nothing. Although it was wrong for her to feel so, being Ronald's girlfriend, she would be lying if Hermione said she wasn't thinking of a certain raven-haired boy while kissing her own boyfriend. The way Hermione's lips would perfectly mold onto Harry's as their mouths danced in harmony, the thought of something so intoxicating made her feel so… unexplainable. Happiness, bliss, joyous, ecstatic, there weren't enough words she could think of to describe what Hermione felt when she was with the one she truly fell in love with.

It wasn't only Hermione that felt the loss of desire in the kiss, for so too did Ron. The way his lips were placed upon his girlfriend was not what he would call perfect, but just not enough to send his senses into frenzy. Unlike before, where one look from Hermione's eyes could make Ron's cheeks turn bright pink. Ron's thoughts weren't swarming of faithfulness either, as when he closed his eyes to kiss his girlfriend; it was another beautiful woman that he pictured. The vision was of Lavender Brown, his first girlfriend in sixth year. In the attempts to drive the lovesick feelings Ron had for Hermione, he poured all his attention into the dirty blonde haired Lavender. It was a constant snog-fest, as the fellow Gryffindor's, when Ron and his first girlfriend were in the same vicinity as each other. Although she was merely a girl to fill the void Hermione had left in his heart, Ron now began to believe that she wasn't "just a girl". He perceived Lavender to be a woman he strongly desires, not only sexually but someone who had replaced the position of his current girlfriend.

_I don't love him anymore, I don't remember the last time I even said "I love you" to Ronald. I guess it really was Harry, it's always been him. I just hope I'm not too late. Someday, I'll tell him and the only thing I would hope for is for him to love me too, love me the way I've always loved him._ Hermione's thoughts were not of a future with Ron as her husband, but of Harry being with her, safe in his arms. She envisioned a life that wasn't centered upon resentment, but a life that was focused on the love Hermione had for Harry, and the love he had for her. Could Harry honestly reciprocate a passionate and true love for Hermione? Or would he only look to her as a best friend?

_I don't love her; it doesn't feel like love, it hasn't been since I could remember. It only makes feel as if we're both destined for something greater than just fighting. Hermione would be happy if she were with Harry, and I with Lavender. _They say that if you truly love someone, you should set them free but this wasn't the case for Ron. It was because he truly no longer loved Hermione, he would set her free to the man she deserves, to the man that loves her more than Ron ever could. It was better this way, happier as they could move on with their lives no longer gasping for air from their screams of hatred.


End file.
